Top Five Funny Animal Jokes

Looking for a bit of animal humor? Here is a list of five cute, funny animal jokes.

1. A mean bear is chasing a bunny through the woods one day, when they come across a magic lamp. A genie pops out and tells the two that they can each have three wishes.
   Bear: “Oh great! For my first wish, I wish every bear in this forest was female, except for me, of course.”
   Rabbit: “My first wish is for a motorcycle.”
   Bear: “And now I want every bear in this entire country, except for me, turn into a female bear!”
   Rabbit: “I want a helmet.”
   Bear: “You know what?! Just go ahead and make every other bear in the entire world female, except for me!”
   Rabbit: “For my last wish, turn the bear right beside me into a female.”
   The bunny then puts his helmet on, jumps on his motorcycle, and takes off as fast as he can!
2.  A frog decides to pay a visit to a psychic. He’s told: “You’re going to meet a very pretty girl next year who will want to know all there is to know about you.””
   “Wow! Really?” Asks the frog. “Where will I meet her? A party?”
   “No.” Replies the psychic. “In her Biology class.”
3. A man decided to pay a visit to his good friend, and was astonished when he saw his friend playing chess with his dog. He watched for a few minutes and finally said, “Wow! I can’t believe this! This has to be the smartest dog I’ve ever come across---he’s playing chess!” “Eh.. he’s not too smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him in three out of five games.”
4. A burglar successfully made it into a home that he had planned on robbing. As he looks around, a n squeaky voice pipes up and says, “I’m watching you, and so is Jesus!”
   Startled, the thief looked around the room. Although the room was dark, he still made out a bird cage in which sat a parrot.
   “I can see you!” The parrot piped up again. “And so can Jesus!”
   “So what!” Snapped the burglar, “you’re just a parrot!”
   “Perhaps so,” replied the parrot. “But Jesus is a Rottweiler!”
5. Rosco, a dog who had worked with many police officers decided to apply for a job with the FBI. During his interview, he was told that he had to meet some rather strict requirements.
   First, he had to type at least 50 words a minute. Rosco sat at the computer and typed 70 words per minute. “Ok,” the interviewer said. “Now you need to pass a drug test and make it through an obstacle course.” Rosco passed the drug test and successfully completed the obstacle course.
   “Ok, great!” Exclaimed the interviewer. “You only have one last requirement: you must be bilingual.” With that, Rosco looked up at his interviewer and said, “Meow!”